STOP & STARE

The title referred.

(diam,tak tau ape nak tulis. and so, dont have any idea how to start this post)

This time memang everything like freeze sekejap. STOP. Apa yang STOP? Everything... Call me crazy or anything sebab malam2 buta macam ni aku dah mula nak EMO. Ermm..but..it is TRUE.. Now i'm a lil bit emotional coz everything seems so wrong. Nothings going right.

Blur ke? Actually, i'm talking about my wedding. For those who keep on reading my blog, of coz dah tau about the wedding. The date, time, place and everything. I keep on updating everything here since the pameran pengantin, test baju, sampai lah kad kawin, which was the latest update from me about the wedding. Everything about my big day memang mengujakan diri aku.

I was like the wedding planner for myself. i decorated everything. Planned with my fiancee about the overall program on that day, setting up accomodation for both family at both reception (Klang & Pahang)..EVERYTHING...Excited? Of coz! Say you wont and i will wait until your turn and we can see how crazy you will be for making up all these thing PERFECT.

Today, memang sangat2 suram. Early in the morning, we got a news that our wedding has to be postponed to other date. WTH? Tension for the whole day. Ok, alasan ak boleh reveal kat sini. Sebab ramai orang bace blog ni. So, nak jaga hati orang jugak. Have to keep it inside.. :(

From my side, the 1st person yang dapat berita ni is my mom. Macam biase la, menjawab banyak la aku gamaknye. Ah,whatever la. It is beyond control ok! But, i can handled her. Ni kat rumah dia ok. Mama aku, tau la aku nak tackle mcm mana.

2nd is my BFF, Nani. Masa informed her, i was like crying sebab sedih gila. It was like semua mimpi2 dah tukar jadi nightmare to me. Hate it. But, (inilah pentingnya ada kawan baik) she was there tak terkejut sangat, tak tension macam aku, tak jugak nak mengamuk2 macam aku.. She get me look into the bright side rather than the dark side. Positive come first, then negativity will took place later.. Frankly speaking, aku sangat rase tenang, lepas berYM dgn BFF ku yg satu ini. Thanks nani. I promise not to caricature your photo again.. ngeee.

Sekarang rasa tension dah agak kurang. After calling2 satu dunia (harus la, Raya Haji hari tu telah ku khabarkan pada sanak sedara wedding date sebab masa tu kad dah tempah), untuk inform pasal postpone ni, aku duduk relax sekejap. Fikir2...termenung...and try to get my head clear....clear dari semua benda negatif.

Aku start fikir ape itu PERKAHWINAN dan hikmah disebalik ape yang jadi sekarang. Nak kawin bukan senang weh. Payah. Macam2 nak fikir. So, bila ada macam2 halangan sebelum kawin ni, aku patut take it positive. Maybe, ni lah dugaanNYA untuk aku kot. Lagipun, tempoh masa aku kenal dengan tunang aku tak lama. Baru sangat. This months is our 1st anniversary, tau tak? Kenal bulan 12 last year, decided to be together, family datang merisik after 3 months kenal. bertunang 4 months after that (July) and now, getting married tak sampai setahun pun engaged.

Ni jodoh lah giler...memang jodoh. We are meant to be together. DAN ini jugak dugaan untuk both of us. Sebab, sepanjang setahun kenal ni, tak ada byk dugaan pun. Everything memang easy. Gaduh? Haha kelakar, tak ade kot. Yang biase selisih faham tu pun sikit2. Dan cepat baik. Dugaan besar memang tak ada. Alhamdulillah. Kalau orang lain ada masalah bakal mak mertua, bapak mertua, family sebelah tunang, kakak2 ipar adik2 ipar ade masalah, abang ipar kerek or ape2 aje lah, we dont have it. Both family like tide up smoothly and alhamdulillah tak pernah ada masalah2 yg aku sebut tadi.

Allah tak duga kat situ mungkin. Allah tak juga duga kat relationship antara kitorang juga, so, maybe ini adalah dugaan yg pertama. Payah nak tetapkan date kawin :( Halangan ada je untuk tetapkan hal kawin ni... Kenape mesti aku merungut banyak sangat. Kan? Ape kata take it easy. Plan balik. Cari backup plan. Choose date again and setup everything all over again. Cakap senang la, buat tgk...takpe..ok kot (motivate diri sendiri).

Bila fikir2 kan, betul jugak ada member aku cakap masa borak2, "marriage is a PHASE, you better think before you take it to the next level(married)". Then, baru2 ni BFF aku kawin (Emy Suraya), a day after she got married, she gave me a call and when we were talking masa tu, dia cakap die nak pergi tgk movie with her family and husband and Emy kata "macam ni lah hidup lepas kawin Nie(my nickname),bila semua dah selesai, ko dah masuk this phase,it is like WHAT ELSE???WHAT NEXT?? dah mcm takde hala tuju..blur.." ekekkeke dia terus gelak.

Maybe betul kot ape die kata. It is a PHASE. Kalau orang Cina, aku penah dengar bagi org Cina, kehidupan ada 3 peringkat penting sahaja. 1. KELAHIRAN... masa lahir, baby, budak..remaja..dewasa.. 2. PERKAHWINAN (ape yg aku tgh nak masuk ni) and 3. KEMATIAN...Opps??? Kalau aku kawin maknanya, aku dah lepas 2 fasa.....! dan ape yg tunggu pastu? Mati? ayyarkkkkkk....hahahahah tergelak aku kejap..

Tapi betullah, memang kawin ialah satu fasa dalam hidup. Satu fasa yg ko perlu plan ape pengisiannya nanti. Kan? Ye.....nak kawin memang best. Pakai baju cantik2 mcm princess, amik gambar feeling2 artis, make up macam nak rak, beli cincin berlian batu besar mcm batu jalan, beli hantaran mcm esok dah nak kiamat gaya shopping nye, pilih pelamin mcm pelamin tu takkan cabut2 ade je dalam umah mcm nak masuk muzium, pilih makanan (katering) mcm nak kasi 1 malaysia makan padahal jemput 800 org je.... LEPAS TU??????

Ape jadi after khemah dah turun, pelamin dah bukak, baju sanding dah pulang kat mak andam, make up artis dah balik, katering dah amik pinggan mangkuk hayun die, sedara mara dah selamat tido kat umah masing2....aku? My life? My marriage?? Errmmm.......

Gosh..*diam sekejap*, this is a serious business....STOP & STARE....

p/s:ini lah sebab kenape perlu ade dugaan masa nak prepare kawin, supaya pasangan pengantin fikir masak mcm nak mati. Lepas masak ko hangus, dan bile hangus ko akan beringat..yes...GOT IT!!

Good nite :)